Romanes Eunt Domus

My first Mooney-shot

I know this isn't that great, but it was too damned cold out to get all the settings correct.

Oh, did I mention I got a new camera?

New year, new project

So I guess it goes without saying that I've been a little slack on the blogging lately. I'm having quality control issues - there's been several times where I get something partially or entirely written up and decide that I don't even care about the subject, so why should I think anyone else would? I mean, yes, I could probably write something about my most memorable New Year's Eves, I could probably make it far more entertaining than the reality from which it's drawn, but in the end, who cares? There's no real hook there beyond "Hey, Look At Me!", and that's what I'd rather avoid.

Anyways, the wife and I starting to do a couple's devotional together. One thing that always bugs me about these things is it's so hard to find one that I'm in relative theological agreement with. It always seems that for everything that you really agree with, there's something else that's absolutely horrifying.

And then it came to me - why don't I just write my own? I've got a blog and a big mouth, what more qualifications does a person need?

So, here's my new project for the new year. I won't promise one every day (or even every other day), but I'll try my best. I'm going to follow the daily office as a guide, and whatever I'm inspired to write, well, I guess I'll write.

So, stay tuned, I guess....

What's going on?

Not much, as you can probably tell.

Actually, that's not really true - I've got a lot of stuff happening, but nothing I'm really interested in writing about. The war on Christmas has reached the point of utter ridiculousness - that point being the one where I start agreeing with Cal Thomas, and I refuse to waste perfectly good ones and zeros discussing Bill's persecution fantasies. If that's the sort of thing he's into, why can't he just find a nice leather bar to hang out at, and leave the rest of us well enough alone?

Some updates and things of note:

I asked my son this morning if he wanted to get his hair cut with me tonight, since that's how we usually do it, and he told me that he was going to let his hair grow long. Probably down until it covers his eyes, and then this summer he'll shave the sides and spike the rest up into a mohawk, which he plans on dying pink. I'm trying to decide if this is a parental failure or not.

On the other hand, he seems to have given up his plans for getting his ear pierced with a great big hooped pirate earring.

We had the employee appreciation dinner today at work. I guess it would do in a pinch - it wasn't like it was prime rib and mashed taters, with horseradish sauce & steamed vegetables or anything. Oh wait, actually, it was. We have a little tradition for the appreciation dinner - a particular co-worker (not me) takes all the fatty scraps from his beef, piles them onto a bun, and consumes them to the general acclimation of the table. Then he tells us how he doesn't expect to live past 45, because heart attacks run in his family.

Sadly, the roasts were trimmed a little closer to the meat this year, and there wasn't a spare scrap to be had. So to show our solidarity with our friend and his ever hardening arteries, we all had an extra slice of cheesecake instead.

So that's about all I've got for today - the kids are out of school early today, and we've got a couple of movies that we're going to watch over the next couple weeks of holiday vacation: Narnia, Wallace & Gromit, Last Tango In Paris, Where the Boys Aren't Vols. IV-V, etc, so between all that and refreshing the UPS tracking website (Is it here yet? Is it there yet? What the fuck is it doing there?) I don't know if I'll have anything else interesting to say for a while.

But I'll try.

Overheard at the boss's christmas party

"Yeah, I drove over in the vangina. You open the doors and the kids pop out"

(In reference to an unwanted cat) "Hey, I'll bet Takamasa-san would eat that cat for you"

"Hey, before your boy gets his hair cut, do you think I could see if he could score me some weed?"

"Let me get this straight Takamasa-san: raw chicken cartilage, okay - tequila worm, very dame?"

"Okay, I'll try a shot. How bad could centerba be?"

A little poetry

It doesn't matter
if they decide
to kill Tookie Williams
this week

even if
they send him
to the obulette
instead of the gallows

there will be another
who we'll strap to the gurney
or into the chair

there will be another
who we'll fit with a noose
or a hood

there will be another
because we never fail
to find another

Getting off my lazy ass

Don’t you need to write something?

No. I’m bored. Piss off.

Bored? Funny, from over here it looks at lot more like lazy. Don’t you need to write something, you lazy bastard?

Okay, fine then. I’ll write something, just to watch it die.

Let’s see – it’s the beginning of Advent, which all the cool kids know is the bestest of church seasons (and no, I’m not going to be explaining the somewhat linked concepts of “liturgy” and “season” to my low church brethren. Google it). It helps that the only other church season that anybody can think of is Lent, and it’s a total downer because you’re supposed to be giving something up and reflecting on how gracious God must be to bother with a worthless sinner such as yourself.

Advent, on the other hand, is spent investigating the modal nature of sugar (it was fudge, it is cookies, it will be almond rocca, world without end amen) , writing letters to Santa, and demanding the head of any cashier or clerk who dares to wish you “Happy Holidays” instead of a “Merry Christmas”, like the Bible says they should. This is all capped by said holiday, wherein you exchange gifts with people who already have everything that they want, if not more than they actually need.

The only thing you get for Easter is chocolate eggs and salvation, and where on earth are you going to exchange that for something in your color?

There. Happy now?

I guess that’ll do.

Okay then – was there anything else?

Yes. Don’t you need to write something?

Hi

Well. How embarassing. I get up this morning and find out that company's coming, which is really cool, don’t get me wrong - but I haven't cleaned the bathrooms now for a couple of weeks and the toilets are starting to grow hair. The cupboards are barren as well so it looks like everyone's going to have to make do with some moldy crackers. It could be worse - at least they aren't soggy.

I know, I know, you were promised "daily funny" and it's painfully obvious that there's little here lately that's daily, or even funny if you get right down to it, but that's how I roll these days.

Anyways, if you want my advice on a "Best of Benjamin", well, don't say you weren't warned:

Lepers and Whores (aka the best line greg's come up with yet)

Thoughts on abortion

Turning 30

And of course, the Brandon's picks:

Flag Burning

Recommended aily dose of fiber

Well, that's it - whoever's the last to leave, would you mind turning out the lights?

Armistice Day lyrics

Green fields of France
Dropkick Murphys

oh how do you do, young willy mcbride
do you mind if i sit here down by your graveside
and rest for a while in the warm summer sun
i've been walking all day, and im nearly done
and i see by your gravestone you were only nineteen
when you joined the great fallen in 1916
well i hope you died quick
and i hope you died clean
oh willy mcbride, was is it slow and obscene

[Chorus]
did they beat the drums slowly
did the play the fife lowly
did they sound the death march as they lowered you down
did the band play the last post and chorus
did the pipes play the flowers of the forest

and did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind
in some loyal heart is your memory enshrined
and though you died back in 1916
to that loyal heart you're forever nineteen
or are you a stranger without even a name
forever enshrined behind some old glass pane
in an old photograph torn, tattered, and stained
and faded to yellow in a brown leather frame

[Chorus]

the sun shining down on these green fields of france
the warm wind blows gently and the red poppies dance
the trenches have vanished long under the plow
no gas, no barbed wire, no guns firing now
but here in this graveyard that's still no mans land
the countless white crosses in mute witness stand
till' man's blind indifference to his fellow man
and a whole generation were butchered and damned

[Chorus]

and i can't help but wonder oh willy mcbride
do all those who lie here know why they died
did you really believe them when they told you the cause
did you really believe that this war would end wars
well the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame
the killing and dying it was all done in vain
oh willy mcbride it all happened again
and again, and again, and again, and again

[Chorus]

Heartbreak

After 60 minutes of regulation time, followed by two five minute overtimes, my daughter's soccer team lost the championship game 3-2 in the penalty kick shootout. All this after having to come back from a two goal deficit to win the qualifier earlier in the day.

These youth sports are going to give me an ulcer.

trecnocnikcufesin

So, I survived the concert. It was pretty much what I'd expected and hoped it would be, that is - loud, fast, ear-bleeding metal. It was the "classic" lineup, and they stuck to playing "classic" songs, which was good because I wouldn't have recognized anything they wrote after 1992.

Some observations:

• Maybe it wasn't the best idea for the pregnant chick to hang out down near the front.
• Strobe lights make it very hard to tell when someone's coming out of the pit at you.
• Anthrax hasn't toured with Public Enemy for years now - there probably wasn't any need to have ten cops standing outside as we left the concert.
• Yes, I caught one of the drumsticks.

Well, that's it - one more thing crossed off of my Giant List Of Things To Do Before I Die.