Romanes Eunt Domus

For the Harry Potter Fans...

This is absolutely brilliant.

Semper Fi

The last time I was out at the Idaho Center, I was there to see the Warped Tour. There were a lot of good bands there this year - The Offspring, All American Rejects, My Chemical Romance, etc. The crowd favorite though, was definitly the Dropkick Murphys. No one, for example, was waving a great big green flag for The Transplants, there were no chants of "Let's go Fall Out Boy, Let's go!".

They put on a good show - all the songs you wanted to hear, like Barroom Hero and Boys on the Docks. They even led the crowd in singing Amazing Grace, which was, well, simply amazing.

I picked up their latest album before I left, but you can relax - this isn't going to be some fanboy review. I'd just like to bring your attention to one of the songs towards the end of the disk - Last Letter Home. Here are the lyrics. No it's okay, go read them, I'll wait.

Today, someone else was playing the Idaho Center. Sgt. Farrar's Commander in Chief, our Beloved Leader, George Bush. I didn't make it out this time, I had to work, and nobody was willing to spring for the nice effigy anyways. But I'm sure the crowd out there was bigger than it was last month, Idaho being one of the last states with positive poll numbers for Bush. I'm sure the marches were spirited and the speeches fiery, what with all of the soldiers bussed in from Mountain Home, to say nothing of the true believers who came from all corners of Canyon County. A Very Special Day for all involved.

Now, I have no doubt of the answer I'd get if I asked most folks around here as to which party lent more dignity to the Idaho Center's stage. The man in the suit is going to beat the hooligans every time, no matter who he is. That's the way things are around here, and, to be honest, that's the way things are most everywhere.

There is one fact however, that I'll just put out there to stand on however much merit one wishes to accord. The Dropkick Murphys, a punk band from Boston, felt enough obligation to play for Sgt. Farrar's funeral, while President Bush did not attend. In fact, he has not attended a single funeral for a single soldier who's died in this fucking disaster, 82 of whom have died this month alone, while the President has been on vacation.

Red State Blues

I was hard at work (really!) this afternoon, when this cold sensation just ran down my spine. This was a lot worse than some goose walking over my grave - it was visceral, sub-rational - like hearing a phone ring and knowing before you pick it up that somebody had died, or watching a car crash on the highway in front of you. I shut my eyes and the weirdest damned visions and sensations ran through my head - a field of white headstones under an iron sky, weeping children, a boot forever smashing into someone's face. The feeling passed as quickly as it had came, but I still had to bum a cigarette of a co-worker to steady my nerves.

It wasn't until I heard a couple of the Not-Quite-So-Young Republicans hyperventilating in the next cube that I figured out what had happened. I mean, if you're a disciple of the Dark Lord, I guess it would be exciting when he deigns to visit the hinterlands, in the off chance that he might lay a withered hand upon your brow, but is it truly orgasm inducing? That's just icky....

Back

So my other sister got married this weekend. We were all supposed to write down some marital advice in a book for her. While I felt that "a safe word is only safe if everybody remembers it" was an undeniably useful bit of widom for the newlyweds, it was suggested that I might try a little harder. So here, with only a few edits, is what they got:

There's lot's of theories on marriage out there. Your priest or pastor, if they've any sense, might tell you that marriage is a chance to practice the Kingdom in the small before attempting it in the large. An economist might tell you a story involving the cost of milk and the buying and selling of a cow. Republicans idolize hearth and home, and promote a minimalist sexual ethic that can be summed up as "Lights Off, Doors Locked, No Talking".

These are all true to greater and lesser points, but I think it's simplest to think of marriage like this:

We are all emotional cripples. It's nothing to be ashamed of after all - that's just how God and our parents made us. If we are lucky, we can find someone who is strong where we are weak, because it is our role as spouses to be a crutch for one another. We are here to support each other when we stumble, to help pick the other up when they fall down.

Go and be a good crutch.

Peoples Republic Of Washington

Okay, so I'm here in Spokanistan PRW, as the last of my sisters escapes spinsterhood. At least it's not hot.

More recipes

As some of you might know, my birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and one of the presents that I got was a seven-quart Dutch oven. Not the kind you stack, but the one you can use on the stove as well as the campfire. I was patient, and waited almost an entire week before I broke its little metal maidenhead.

My general philosophy towards chili-making is pretty simple: Whatever’s in the pantry, goes in the pot. With that as my guiding principle, I present:

Yet Another Chili-like Recipe

2-3 lbs beef bottom round roast, sliced thin.

1 lb chicken thighs, cubed

1 lb kielbasa, sliced

Several large onions, chopped

Several garlic cloves, minced

Cumin

Pepper

Oregano

Chili Powder

Chicken Broth

White cooking wine

Large can crushed tomatoes

Large can of kernel corn

Large can of beans

Dried Chipotle Peppers

Dried Ancho Peppers

Several Serrano Peppers

Diced potatoes

Diced Carrots

Diced tomatillos

First, you put some oil in the bottom of a dutch oven and sauté the kielbasa, onions, and the garlic until the onions are cooked and the kielbasa is browned. Remove from the oven, but leave the drippings.

Crush the dried peppers as fine as you can. Here is your first chance at heat control – if you’re a crybaby blue-stater who can’t handle it melt-your-face-off hot, then remove some of the seeds. Real red-state men leave the seeds in, but they have a tendency to just talk about how awesome the chili is without eating any of it themselves. Your call.

Place a layer of the round in the bottom of the oven. Sprinkle a layer of the crushed peppers over the meat, along with a layer of the onion-garlic-kielbasa mixture. Sprinkle some oregano, cumin, and chili powder over the top of that. Repeat the layers until you have used all of the remaining round roast slices. Top everything with the cubed chicken. Cover meat with equal parts chicken broth and white wine, then place the lid on the Dutch oven and simmer on low for about three hours.

Once the meat has started to disintegrate, add the crushed tomatoes and the tomatillos.

Here I must make a short digression. I went to work the other day, and described this recipe to some of my co-workers. There was some discussion as to the propriety of describing anything containing root vegetables as chili. The discussion grew heated, hurtful words were spoken, duels were fought. Later, as the ambulance containing the body of my vanquished foe pulled out of the parking lot, I decided that, in the interests of peace and harmony, I would henceforth refer to the recipe above as “chili-like”, and avoid the whole issue.

In other words, chili zealots purists can stop right here and enjoy the bowl of red that is simmering in the pot before them. The rest of us however, shall bravely forge on.

Add the corn, diced carrots, and potatoes, and simmer until the vegetables have softened. Add beans and heat through.

Serve with cornbread.

Next up in the Dutch oven: braised beef short-ribs…..

Brandon sent me a humor test, and I scored pretty much like I thought I would:

the Ham

(23% dark, 46% spontaneous, 10% vulgar)
your humor style:

CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith