It's strange, isn't it - that a word can have so much power. You read those three syllables and you're already in motion - some of you are stoking the engines up to ramming speed, while others of you are starting to heat the kettles of oil behind your battlements. It's a word that demands you take a position, upends the fence-sitters, allows no neutrality.
Everybody seems to be talking about it lately, so what the hell. Some history & other thoughts:
I grew up in small town America. I know a lot of good, church-going girls with good, church-going parents who decided that, for whatever reason, they'd have no good church-going bastards in the house. It seemed like a real problem, but not one that I really worried about, because:
- I wasn't getting any
- I'd be "careful" once I was
Now, the Lord is nothing if not a comedian, and it came to pass that The Choice intruded into the waning years of my adolescence. My decision is sitting in the other room, doing her homework. It's a terrifying thing to think that she might never have been, if either I or her mother had been a bit more selfish, a little less principled.
Now, those are loaded words. Fighting words - but, in our case, I think, true words. To not accept responsibility for our actions would have been selfish. It's not like we didn't know how this birds & bees stuff worked - Insert tab A into Slot B, lather, rinse, repeat, etc, etc, etc. All babies are natural - some are just more natural than others. If we really didn't want to be parents, we should have taken up bowling instead.
But while I'm willing to state that I don't think abortion is right, I can't make the corresponding statement that it should be illegal. In a perfect world, civilized people would look upon someone who was willing to get an abortion much like someone whom we discover is capable of drowning unwanted kittens - with complete and utter revulsion*. It's not that drowning kittens is illegal (at least not everywhere), it's just that it's so unnecessary. In a perfect world, everyone who got pregnant in a "bad situation" would be able to put the fruits of their passion up for adoption without any hassle. In this mythical, magical world, husbands wouldn't be able to force their wives to have kids they couldn't support, rapists would all be infertile, and pregnancies would never end in tragedy.
This world will probably never exist. We live in (pardon the cliché) a fallen world - and that means more than having to stand firm against the hot gay loving or whatever battle in the culture war we're fighting today. A fallen world implies that, sometimes, all choices are bad ones; that there are situations where nobody is going to be a winner. I thank God that I've never been in that situation.
So why then, do I associate myself with the Democratic party? I've been thinking a lot lately about the bait-and-switch nature of contemporary party politics - and while everyone on the left is talking about the problem with Kansas, nobody seems too willing to think about the problem with New York. I'll probably post something more in-depth on this later, but the fact remains that there are plenty of pro-life democrats out there who vote for such niceties as health-care and a living wage, and abortion comes along for the ride.
Given my choices, I think that the Democratic Party can come closer to establishing the faint glimmer of a possible foundation upon which someone may someday build that mythical world. It's not what I truly want, but it's probably the best I'm going to get. Again, sometimes there are no good choices, just ones we can stomach.
* full disclosure: I grew up on a farm and yes, I've been tasked with drowning kittens. It didn't bother me much then, but I don't think I could bring myself to do it now.
Benjamin,
This may be the best post I've ever read...from anyone. Thank you.
Posted by: Brandon | October 05, 2004 at 08:08 AM
Great stuff. I wish I'd had the courage at 21 to make the same choice you did. I made the wrong one (four years after I made a right one--she's 22 now). It's hard to explain how that choice destroyed my marriage...
I too find myself aligning with the Dems more. In a world of social justice, I think personal morality might just be possible.
Posted by: greg | October 05, 2004 at 09:31 PM
Thank you both - I had intended to write this down a while ago, when Hugo was going on and on about it.
I'd been married three years when I turned 21 - which is still hard for me to believe. I had my last child at 23, and was gelded several months later.
I'd like to claim that I was being couragious, but at the time just seemed like the right thing to do.
Posted by: Benjamin | October 06, 2004 at 07:52 AM
A friend just sent the blog opinion on abortion.
Yes, so many of us Democrats are against abortion. We oppose it for the same reason we oppose war or capital punishment. It kills people.
Quite frankly I am not happy that my party doesn't have the same electability as it had say in 1976 when there were 292 democrats elected to Congress. Today we have 204. I don't think that's because Democrats, or even Republicans, think Bush is great.
Meanwhile, our Party's concern for the environment, for univeral health car, for more peaceful solutions to global conflict are all losing because our candidates are losing.
Abortion is a loser, for more than just the unborn.
Carol Crossed,
Board of Directors, Democrats for Life of America
There are 41 states that have formed or are forming pro-life democrat chapters.
Posted by: carol crossed | February 19, 2005 at 12:41 PM
As for me, I left the Democrat party because of their stand on abortion.
For me, I cannot see how it is not murder. Even if one disagrees with me on it being murder, they should rest easier that I would not also conclude it is best if the aged should be disposed of at the time they enter the aged stage, having escaped unscathed from the fetus tissue stage.
Just my thoughts.
Posted by: thom | November 19, 2005 at 07:43 PM
I have not voted democrate since I have been able to vote. I live in Granite City Illinois. Its by St. louis Mo. I said that because This is a big union place a big democratic area in one of the most liberal states. We have one of the biggest abortion clinics around. I am told that they advertize a six state distance. I hate the place but like the author I do not think making it illeagal is the answer. I am a believer in Jesus and the values the Bible teaches. People have left the ways of good morals and caring for others and we have become selfish. I am set on bringing people back to our countries roots. They may have not been all Christians but they believed iv Christian values. If we all did that the clinics would close for lack of business.
Posted by: Terry | May 26, 2006 at 06:44 PM