Romanes Eunt Domus: First, Burn All Of The Flags

Yes, the lawyers will need to be dealt with, but it is the flags that are the problem that we can fix today.

This is what I want you to do: Stand up (yes, right after everyone’s sat down following the first praise chorus, and before the pastor can start in with a benediction), stand up and march to the front, grab that flag, that golden calf, that red, white and blue satan that some well-intentioned soul saw fit to mount in the corner of the sanctuary, grab it up and then tell the congregation that any church with a flag up front is a church on its knees – and not because it’s praying.

Then you take that flag out into the parking lot (unless your church is equipped to burn shit right there at the altar), kick aside the ashes of the Harry Potter books and the melted Brittany Spears CDs, the stuff the church likes to burn when it wants the world to know that it has had enough . Douse that flag in lighter fluid (you did remember the lighter fluid?) and then it’s burn baby burn. Because, God damn it, we’re not going to be complicit anymore.